me vuelvo impaciente
cuando llega el amanecer
absorvo todos los tés de
todas las tardes.

I like the weekends better, and it shouldn't be surprising.
But it is.
Anyway, one is almost starting today.

I like to see how his brain works. Not a good thing to say out loud, though.
what is it that bothers me and puts me off? don't really know if I wanna find out.
is it the Alex thing? it dones't annoys me that much. just a bit.
it's probably the Alex thing. Only he's got some things to even things up.
On the other hand, he's never called me kitten, so..

Oh but he has called me babe. Wonder why I like it so much.
He does keep me waking the walls.

It feels like the ghosts are just following some boring old routine.
Same old, I do miss them, I do freak out, but, they just aren't trying hard at all.
Not at all.

Funny. That little sparkle of life I'd thought I'd seen in j.
Is oh, nothing more than a full personality here. Dude.
Still he really really is too young. Next girl's fucking lucky. You know, exept for his ex.

And oh, men. Full personality and oh my god, yet he's just soo in love,
they turn into, well,
kittens.

silly girl.

first time ever I feel like I don't need to censure myself. you know, kinda.
like he isn't afraid of me, and what I might do or what I might like.
gosh, who knew, right? so. fucking. much.

it was like a switch turned and then i like him so much!
just like that. every fucking thing he says. it remainds me of n. but better.
(oh so much better)

funny about this bitch thing thing. guess i should have seen it coming.
still, way too happy tonight to care. really, how cute is he?
and when those little shiny pieces come through, fuck.
and the way he got totally mad. (how dumb am i? omg.)

well, just said it, totally sixteen tonight.
but also in a bubbly, quirky way.

tomorrow night has to be perfect. and there are just soo many things to potentially fuck it up, it should be fun.

like dylan in the movies.

Yeah you're worth the trouble, and you're worth the pain
and you're worth the worry, I would do the same
If we all went back to another time
I would love you over
I would love you

watching over the emtpy battlefield

So, insomnia. It kinda sucks. But
at least there are no dreams. Damn.

I though it would come eventually, but honestly I had forgot.
Without the despair, without the fear of what will come
when life doesn't seems to be crumbling anymore
or all the pieces have already fallen, waiting to be rearranged
(much like my bedroom floor)

Now I miss him. And now I can appreciate him.
Now it hurts in a much more subtle way, and it seems to linger on.

FUCK YOU

fuck, I'm so fucking alone.

well hello, horribly pathetic world. it's been a while. do you hate me too?
would you let me in?
hell at least i'm trying something, as lame as it may be.
-
I actually want to just kick him in the face. Like, repeatedly.
With really high sharp heels.
-
god I'm so horribly numb. I actually can't see a thing outside me.
Me me me me me. Not fun.

sh.

que es un soplo la vida..

She's making dinner for two (three?) while he's playing guitar, taking a shower, or god knows what.
She's singing a song while watching the rice (her son playing on the kitchen floor).

"Mi vieja cantaba, a veces, un tango, y sus ojos se llenaban de otro lugar"

dreams.

Oh my god, I can almost see it. Can you?
Close my eyes and.. there it is.
A house full of light. The sound of children laughing.
A home made piece by piece. A life.. together.

Let it rest for a little while.
It's just a dream.
And today's well worth to be lived.

So keep it stored as a beautiful wish until the time comes.

trying to get it off my head.

- The thing is, if you were in fact in love with her, which you haven't
denied -repeatedly-, so I'm assuming you were, why did you avoid telling me
about her? It's not like I didn't ask.

I know it's nothing. I know I'm being irrational and I know it would be the stupidest thing to ruin something this good over a stupid little thing on his past, specially when we've overcame mine. But, then again, I haven't got the slightest idea if it's just a stupid little thing.
First love is no stupid little thing. Although, many times it is sorta stupid.

Rambling calms me. The Chandler thing, pf.
I just can't get it out of my mind. And I am, god, terrified.

Ooooh please please please deny it. Please please please.